Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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