so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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