some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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