This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
false alarm, still single
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
