and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
