Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
