When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
