yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
