The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
