I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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