Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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