Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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