I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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