doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
