Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
