woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
