No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
