She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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