its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
