is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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