I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
