i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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