i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm really busy with my period
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
