Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
