Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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