I heard we made out
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
