I wish I could teleport
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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