I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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