I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
