Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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