What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
