I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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