It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
