Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
