Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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