Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
