You really coming over, don't trick.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
