We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
