just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
