This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Are my feet made of real feet?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
