worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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