i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
