porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
