I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
