Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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