the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's great music for shaving your balls
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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