I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
