you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
