if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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