I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
