You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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