I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
