At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
