I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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