All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
