Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize