I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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