before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
